MYTH BUSTING

When clients first visit me to discuss getting a divorce I’m often surprised at how many myths surround divorce.  There are quite a few untruths that seem to have become considered ‘fact’, thanks largely to the media   

So, here are my top ten divorce myths and the facts behind the fiction…
 
1.  You can become a ‘common law spouse’ by living together for a certain amount of time.

 Untrue – there is no such thing as a common law spouse. You only become a spouse by going through a legally recognised ceremony of marriage

 2. The divorce finalises any financial claims and once decree absolute is pronounced my ex-spouse can’t make any claims against me.

 Untrue – the divorce dissolves the marriage, however to achieve a binding financial settlement a financial order needs to be made by the court (which can be by consent). Without that order your ex-spouse may be able to make a financial claim against you potentially months or even years after decree absolute.

 3. If I am already separated from my spouse when I start a new relationship that isn’t adultery.

Untrue – if you have a sexual relationship with another person whilst still married the law would class that as adultery even though you are separated (even if it is not therefore the reason for the marriage breakdown).

 4. My spouse committed adultery so the court will award me a greater share of assets as a consequence to punish them.

 Untrue – the fact one party has committed adultery will not entitle the other to a bigger award as a result.

 5. If I wait two years to get divorced, the procedure is quicker and easier than divorcing on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour

 Untrue – the procedure and timescale is the same regardless of the reason.

6. I can get divorced on the grounds of irreconcilable difficulties.

 Untrue – there is only one ‘ground’ for divorce which is that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and which has to be evidenced by one of 5 facts – adultery, unreasonable behaviour, separation of 2 years with consent, separation of 5 years and desertion.

 7. If I had assets before the marriage or acquired after we separated, I do not need to disclose them and they will never be relevant to the settlement.

 Untrue – there is a duty on both parties to disclose fully details of all their assets irrespective of when they were acquired. If they were acquired before the marriage or after separation the court may treat them differently to other assets acquired during the marriage, (and for instance ultimately leave them out of the ‘matrimonial pot’ for division) but they still have to be disclosed and ultimately if agreement can’t be reached it will be down to the discretion of the court how to deal with these assets, depending on the particular circumstances of your case.

 8. Spousal maintenance is always time limited

 Untrue – in some circumstances the court can order it be paid during joint lives i.e. until one party dies– it all depends on the circumstances of the case

 9. I can’t commence divorce proceedings until I have been to mediation

 Untrue – it is not necessary to attend mediation to get divorced.

 10. It will be cheaper if I don’t instruct a lawyer for my divorce and financial settlement.

 Not necessarily - whilst this may seem cheaper in the short term, in the long term it could prove to be much more expensive if you do not take legal advice. Sometimes the long term effects of a financial settlement can be unexpected and you should take advice as to what is an appropriate settlement for you. Getting advice as to your rights to secure your future is money well spent!

Sally Leaman